DR's have been throwing pain meds at me since there is nothing else they can do to correct my back injury. I felt like they were interferring with my quality of life & have been looking for alternative treatments. I have found one that is working, which includes bi-weekly spinal injections (it is not cortisol or cortisone or whatever it is everyone asks when they first hear that I am getting injections). They are not without there own side effects.Anyway, I started getting those in Dec & had a short 6 day stint in the hospital in Jan with a 4 day at home recovery time. I used all of my vacation time at work, but felt it was all worth the trouble to get myself off of the meds. So I have a DR I love, who is weening me off of the pain meds & every other Tuesday I left work 2 hours early to get my injections. I thought everything was going great & wonderful progress being made. Wednesday the 6th of February I was at work & around lunch time I started vomiting. The treatment the day before had been more agressive than usual & I'm unsure if it was that or the flu or the reduction in my pain meds or possibly all three, but my office manager told me to go home & not come to work so sick. I called in the following day to notify them that I was still vomiting & the VP of the company told me we needed to part ways & that it was too hard to cover my shift. Part of my work has since been deligated to other employees & the computer end outsourced, so they are not hiring a replacement for me. On my pain meds I get a promotion & raises & now I'm fired.

It was my dream to buy a house for myself & my 3 children. I think it is exaserbated since I do not have a family & have never had a "home" to go too. I now wake up everyday thinking I am going to lose my house & I am trying everything in my power to keep it. I still haven't found a job even though there are prospects, my utilities are getting shut off this week but all I can think is keep the house & the phone & I can fix everything else later when I get a job. I have been making payments monthly to one DR who is now suing me because I cannot pay him right now. I applied for emergency enegry assistance but they said I made too much money in January $960.

I can hardly get out of bed everyday. I'm terrifingly depressed & have thoughts that I simply do not have. I'm a bawling exhausted mess. If I cannot pay for cobra insurance by next week, the DR that I think is so great, can no longer see me for my spinal injections or to continue to ween me off of my pain meds. We already know what withdrawal does  & this situation alone has me so anxious & upset that I'm already a shaky, emotional loon. I'm out of contact lenses & have to get an eye exam to get new ones & I cannot see two feet infront of my face which adds to my stress & insecurity.

I'm selling my paintings & am trying to get them posted online once I find someone with a digital camera. I also have a KEM Weber Springer chair that needs to be reapholstered. One that had been redone sold at Sotherbys for 5k. The chrome & everything important on that chair is in great shape & the cushions are fine, the fabric is just worn. I got it for next to nothing years ago & I hate to part with it but desprate times... 

I've lived on my own since I was 14 & I have always been proud of my ability to take care of myself & of others & asking for help is bordering on humiliating, I just don't want to lose everything before I have the chance to get back on my feet.

I have my resume up everywhere & have 2 interviews lined up & 17 applications out there but if I end up with no phone all of that will go out the window I am afraid. Also, I am willing to create new paintings & sell ones I have already completed. If I cannot get my spinal injections the pain will leave me unable to walk & if I have to stop weening off of my pain meds & end up coming off cold turkey I will be worthless and this could all put me behind to the point my family & I end up in a shelter. I have applied for emergency food stamps so we are ok in the food deptartment.

I know if I can make it until I get a job, it woun't be long until I can help others. My name is Sonja & thank you for taking to time to read this.